The network went down at work today. Down, as in no longer worked. Down as in no longer giving us our sweet connectivity fix. Here is a detailed timeline from the 4th floor offices as to what transpired, as a service to future anthropologists:
7:55 Red X appears over the network symbol in the task bar.
7:56 First curse word is heard across the office.
8:00 first person leaves their cube, stands in the aisle looking disoriented.
8:01 Group gathers in the aisle, saying nothing, just looking at each other.
8:15 Sound of weeping can be heard.
8:31 A crowd gathers at the printer, someone says “it’s no better than a lump of plastic.” Bob Karate kicks the printer.
8:40 Swinglines are hoarded, last of the candy bowls raided.
8:58 A scream is heard; several staff try to go online to report it, and become upset when they are unsuccessful.
9:52 A shirtless man wanders between cubes.
10:16 A bonfire fueled by Post-It notes is set in the staff kitchen.
10:51 Lord of the Flies rules are declared.
11:00 Jason, a particularly fit stock clerk, is declared His Highness of the 4th Floor, takes the wellness coordinator as his bride.
11:12 Cubes are torn apart to create shelters; wall panels are used as roofs.
11:22 Cannibalism is reported on the 6th floor.
11: 38 The network is finally restored; staff decide this would be a good time to go to lunch.